Monday, May 7, 2012

Time is on My Side, Yes It Is. No It's Not.

Well, this ruined my morning. On my Swimming News wire came a story about a man who decided to make it a goal to "swim" in all 50 states. And not just a hotel pool, no ma'am! He was going to swim in lakes, and go to actual workouts. Ooooh. So freaking challenging. But the kicker was that he was a lawyer and Washington lobbyist.

And that just meant it was another of those stories, ubiquitous these days, about people with too much free time and way too much money doing an "every" goal and then writing a book. Cook every one of The Joy of Cooking recipes. Run a marathon on every continent. Play golf every day on a different course. Climb every 7000-meter peak/the highest peak in every state. Have sex every day for a year. Go to every Major League ballpark. Save every piece of garbage generated for a year. Walk every inch of the continent north-south/east-west. Eat every meal at McDonalds/the Chronicle's Best 100 Restaurants. And that's not even counting the people who don't write books about this stuff, but just post every day on Facebook to irritate me: those folks who take a picture every day (worse if it's themselves), write a poem, do crafts, feel grateful, or write in their journals (blogs, of course do not count and are considered a community service).

Who has free travel and tons of vacation time, besides Washington lobbyists? Really. The only people I know who have that much time are unemployed, 88-years old, or on bedrest prior to giving birth. Everyone else can't romp across the continents or states or golf courses. We can't spend all day cooking, much less shopping or cleaning up, or even muster up the energy to explain what French foods are, translated. It's like grilled cheese, you'll like it. Tell me, who with kids could possibly have sex every night for a year?

And who has that much money, besides Washington lobbyists? Between mere day-to-day existence, any extra monies accumulated around here go to things like gum, sponsoring every friend's disease triathlon participation (another column on THAT), and every third new product made by Apple. Home improvement has slipped to now include pillow fluffing, and landscaping has plateaued at Live and Let Live, unless it dies. Flying to Antarctica to run a marathon? Oh, sign me up!

I'm happy to do any one of those things, except the saving garbage stuff. Most people I know just put one foot in front of the other each day, and find joy in their family, friends, work, and surroundings. I do. I've got the greatest job in the world; my little city has the fewest number of ridiculously hot days and the least amount of pollen (okay, kinda high on the dumb people percentage); and my family and friends seem to tolerate me well, considering. That's about every thing I want.